Why Peter never asks Tony for advice
by DaRkZ-54
Summary: In which Peter asks Tony about kissing and things go wrong.


Tony leaned back into the sofa as he smiled at his son, Peter, who had been sat more upright as he listened to what Tony had been teaching him about. The teen opened his mouth to speak before shutting it again, which made the elder man chuckle. He'd been talking about kissing to Peter, giving him advice by teaching him the best ways to do it, since Peter had finally fessed up about having a crush on a girl at school- which was also a reason why Steve wasn't present, because he was currently cooking to distract himself from fawning over his 'little boy' and his 'high school sweetheart'.

Yup. That was what he had to live with. Tony had to admit though, he loved him for it.

Once Peter had finally gotten enough courage to speak, Tony had come out of his own head and was looking at him expectantly, ready to answer any and all questions Peter had for him. Why Steve called him a bad influential father, he'd never know, maybe he was jealous of his tactics.

"So...What if I...Forget?" Came the slightly shaken voice, his face an amusing shade of red. He really took after Steve with that, he was quite easily flustered; something Tony was currently working on. No girl wants a guy who flusters easily, not unless he has the whole act ready to play- then you can pull it off.

"Forget? Ah, you mean if you're in the heat of the moment and your mind goes blank, right?" A confirming nod was all the response he got. "Well, if you really are that worried, you could practise. If you practise enough then you won't forget it, like me, I practised a lot and now it's second nature to me." He grinned, making Peter laugh quietly.

"I don't think Gwen would like it if I went around kissing people just to practise for her, dad." He pointed out, but smiling all the same. "Thanks for the advice though, dad, even if you have made this one of the most awkward moments of my life." That made Tony laugh loudly.

"Oh, Peter, you have your whole life ahead of you for me to make awkward, don't think I plan on stopping just because you're getting older." He smirked, making the teen groan and announce that he was done with the conversation. "Alright, well, if you haven't any need of me I'm gonna go see if Steve needs any help."

"Dad, you can't cook, he'll just throw you out of the kitchen." Peter laughed, grinning as he watched his dad walk off anyway. He shook his head as he disappeared behind the door, sitting back into the couch and sighing. He began patting his thighs in some random tune absent mindedly before an idea struck him. What if he _could_ practise...? Well, he's have to find something to u-

And then he stopped.

There, in front of him, was a very inviting looking fruit. He looked around, his parents were busy in the kitchen, so maybe if he just experimented, no-one would know...right? He wasn't doing any harm, after all...

Pete reached forward and grabbed a peach, inspecting it in his hand. Hm...He couldn't do any harm, surely...And his dad _had_ told him to practise...So technically he'd be going against his dad if he didn't, right? And it was definitely better than kissing someone else before he kissed Gwen, he didn't even need to second guess that.

He pulled it closer and gave it an experimental lick- it tasted nice even if it was a little fuzzy, but he was sure that wouldn't matter, it didn't bother him much anyway. He took a normal sized bite out of the soft fruit, licking up the runaway juice than ran down his jaw with his tongue, chewing and swallowing.

This is stupid, he thought as he pressed his lips to the fruit softly, closing his eyes as he tried to imagine it was Gwen he was kissing, Gwen who tasted so sweet as he ran his tongue across her lips then into her mouth...

His eyes snapped open as he heard a loud noise, which was clearly someone behind him clearing their throat. He turned around slowly, his mouth still on the peach, to face the giant that was his Pa, Steve.

Oh shit.

"H-Hi, Pa..." Peter began shakily as he pulled the peach away. "This...This is _not_ what it looks like." He tried, giving the blonde a nervous smile as he felt the warmth of a blush crawl up his neck. Of course, that had to be the moment his dad felt the need to open his big fat mouth. Seriously, he had a big mouth for someone his height. It was ridiculous.

"Huh, well if I'd have know that you were planning to be covered in juice by the end of your date I'd have given you a whole different speech." Peter cringed and witnessed as Steve's face went red, his eyes fixed hard on Peter and the teen glared at his dad, who was stood behind his husband, smirking that smug grin of his.

"Peter." Steve forced through gritted teeth. "You had better explain yourself."

Peter resulted to a few stammered words before he ran away to his room, dropping the fruit as he made his mad scramble for the stairs. All he heard was the heavy thudding of his own heartbeat and the manic laughter of his dad.

Yeah, he was _never_ asking him for advice ever again.


End file.
